Here is a copy of a letter I wrote about two years ago to a friend of mine about some dreams that I had. I found it the other day when i was cleaning out some old things. It made me laugh so I decided to share it with anyone else who cares to take the time to read it.
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It is four in the morning as I am writing this. I promised you that I would tell you about any dreams that I have had. I just had a couple of really weird ones and I wanted to make sure to live up to my promises before the details slip from my memory.
Alright. So here is the first one. Somehow I got trapped with Scully and Mulder from the X-files in an alternate dimension. We were driving around in a station wagon looking for a way out, but we couldn't really get anywhere because the demon who was the lord of this particular dimension was making the ground move as we drove instead of the car. It was like we were on a giant tread mill. So eventually we just parked so that we could walk. Then it turned out that we had parked at the demon's house. So we went in. The demon wanted us to teach him about all kinds of Internet scams so that he could use that knowledge to become powerful in our world. We refused to tell him about the internet stuff, but wanted to explain how he could make a fortune by selling cleaning products on TV instead. So the demon was angry. We did battle. Mostly I watched. Scully stood in the middle of the room and kept yelling "Mulder!" Mulder, as it turns out, was spiderman. He immediately changed into his spiderman costume and started swinging around the room, which had changed into what looked like a charcoal sketch of a darkened new york city back alley. The demon also had a spiderman costume so he changed into spiderman as well, but you could tell he wasn't the real spiderman because his demon bat wings were sticking out of the back still. Spidermulder and spiderdemon fought over scully for a little bit, while I kept trying all of the doors in the alley to see if there was a way out. Mulder discovered that the demon (being the lord of that particular dimension) had omnipotent power. So Mulder told Scully that, and the two of them both agreed that the demon was cheating. They also agreed that the demon's cheap knock off spiderman costume wasn't as cool as mulder's real spiderman costume. For these two reason's the demon was forced to accept defeat which disappointed him greatly. The demon now had to let us leave and he was very sad, because as it turns out all he really wanted was some friends and he just didn't know how to go about aquiring them properly. Well we had to leave no matter what, but as an alternative to friends, I gave the demon a couple of those automatic vacuum cleaner robots. You know the little circular ones that spin around on the floor and clean everything up throughout the day. We left his house as he was watching the vacuum robots clean his floors. When we got to the parking lot we found that our station wagon had been jacked. Even in an alternate universe someone stole our ride. So we had to walk. Fortunately there was a beach near by with a bunch of people. We were hungry so we stopped at a taco stand on the beach for breakfast.
This next one isn't so bizarre, but it made me wake up because I got whacked at the end. For some reason Electra was trying to get revenge on me for killing her father (which happened in the movie except I wasn't the one who killed him) So I was on this boat with my kids and Jon and Amber's kids. I was the only grown up there so I was in charge. Naturally. Electra's sneaky ninja boat crept up along side of us and she and her cronies attempted to board my ship and take over. So I fought with her. She threw a dart at me with some poison on it. So I caught the dart with the end of the stick i was using as a club. Then I flicked her own dart back at her and caught her with it right in the chest. It was awesome. Then she passed out because of the drugs on it. Then I battled the guy who had just disabled the engines of my boat. The whole time I kept yelling at the kids to finish their cereal. They were sitting at a small table and were being very disruptive. I couldn't concentrate on fighting off the bad guys while the kids kept making noise. So I pushed the guy into the water and he started to climb back in. He had a big Rambo knife, but somehow I had gotten a hold of one of Jonathon's swords. So I waved it at him and he decided to jump back into the water. I didn't want to kill him so i let him go. Now that all the fighting was done, I yelled at the kids to keep eating one more time. Then I had to choose between fixing the motor or tying up electra so that I could stop worrying about when she was going to wake up and attack me again. Foolishly I chose to work on the engine. So with my back turned to everything else I started trying to figure out the problem. I looked back and found that all of the kids had been taken. It had happened so fast and so quietly that only a ninja could have done so. Elektra was no where to be seen. She had been pretending to be unconscious the whole time so that she could take the kids without having to fight me directly for them because she knew that I was a better fighter. I could see her boat sailing away with the kids all on board but before I could go after them the guy that i had been unwilling to kill jumped out of nowhere and garroted me. that is when I woke up. If I ever get into a situation in a dream where i am going to die, I always wake up.
As I was typing all of that I realized that even though I haven't seen a movie with elektra in it, I did happen to glance over jessicrap's myspace page this evening. She says on it that if she was a superhero that she would want to be elektra. It has a picture of elektra and everything. So psychoanalyze away.
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